Hi Avantika! Sure.
It has to do with my adoption. I was adopted when I was a baby and looks like most (if not all) people who were adopted suffer from abandonment issues, no matter how loving and caring your family may be. My therapist had told me that when I was a teenager, but I thought she was exaggerating because I never made a big deal out of being adopted. My family has always addressed it very naturally.
Basically, it’s like a part of you is always assuming every person in your life is going to abandon you — so you protect yourself by pushing people away and sabotaging your relationships. This part of you doesn’t think you deserve love because you were rejected at the very moment you were born. Obviously, this happens on a subconscious level, that’s why it’s so difficult to realize it is a problem.
I became aware of this 4 years ago, when I was 20.
Thank you for your response and if you want me to share a bit more, feel free to let me know ❤