If you’ve been carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders, this one’s for you.
Over the past few months, I’ve noticed how much time I spend worrying about disappointing others — particularly my family.
What will they think? Will they support me? Will they approve my choices? Will they understand my perspective? Am I going to let them down?
I realized that my fear of disappointing people has its roots in my childhood. As a child, I felt unloved and unaccepted whenever I disappointed my parents. I’d only feel loved when I’d follow their rules and act according to their standards and expectations.
I eventually learned that it was my duty to please everyone…
Realizing that you are not your thoughts is your ticket to true freedom.
I have always been attracted to Eastern religions, as they share a sense of freedom, transcendence and self-exploration that I could never find in the religion I was raised in.
I love to mix and match elements of different faiths, and to learn as much as I can about all of them. I believe that we’re all spiritual beings and that we can all benefit from expanding our knowledge.
Right before the pandemic, I visited a Buddhist temple near my place to join a meditation class, where a very kind monk introduced us to a concept: the monkey mind.
According…
#3 You’re worrying less about impressing others and more about doing what’s right for you.
Many of us have developed an identity, a role that we continuously play in order to be accepted and stay in our comfort zone. Unfortunately, we rarely stop to question if this role is really who we are.
What most of us don’t know, or try to ignore, is that our true self is right beneath the surface, waiting for us to wake up.
Our true self doesn’t care about others’ expectation, or about what society considers to be normal. It just wants us to grow and flourish. …
#4 You’re having physical symptoms you’ve never had before.
A dark night of the the soul is defined as a spiritual journey that forces you to shed previous beliefs, habits and relationships, so that you can make the transition to a more mindful, fulfilling life.
It shakes every aspect of your life. It makes you question every aspect of your existence. Basically, it drives you nuts.
The good news is, there’s a purpose behind it. I’ve been going through my own dark night of the soul for over a year now, and no matter how painful it has been, I can say with confidence that I needed it. I…
#3 You have thought of recording the conversations to make sure you’re not crazy.
One of the reasons emotional abuse is so hard to recognize is the fact that we rarely talk about it, even though it can be just as damaging and painful as physical abuse.
This is not an easy conversation to have, because acknowledging our own abuse requires a willingness to question our own emotional patterns as well as their origins — and that can be gut-wrenching.
It requires looking at yourself, at your family, at your relationships and saying: why am I this way? Why do I feel like there’s something wrong? Why do they make me feel like I’m…
And it’s much closer than you think.
When we talk about abuse, we tend to think of domestic violence, physical mistreatment, or sexual assault. As a society, we rarely consider emotional or psychological abuse.
I’m pretty sure that if we did, many of us would come to the realization that we were victims of abuse at some point in our lives — if not chronically.
I still remember the first time I came across the term a few years ago, when trying to find answers for my emotional state on Google. Everything led me to the conclusion that my father was emotionally abusing me, but my first…
How to find a secure partner by becoming secure yourself.
Secure relationships are rare. Most of us carry wounds, fears and insecurities from past experiences that prevent us from sharing our inner worlds and building authentic connections.
Maybe you’re stuck in push-pull dynamics, maybe you find yourself attracting emotionally unavailable people over and over again. Whatever it is, we all have our own patterns, and more often than not, they’re not secure.
However, it’s possible to find a secure partner.
If you’re not one of the lucky people who have a secure attachment style (and therefore find it easier to be in secure relationships), the best thing you can do…
Stop telling me I’ll eventually change my mind.
I don’t want to have children. I have been saying this for a few years now, but people still don’t take me seriously.
“You’ll eventually change your mind”, they say. Why is everyone so clear I’ll change my mind? Shouldn’t it be a personal decision? Why can’t I simply not have any children and follow my own path?
I find it interesting that the worst reactions usually come from women.
“What a bad decision”
“You say that now, but you’ll regret it later”
“What are you going to do when you’re old and alone?”
My mom thought I’d reconsider it…
Growth sometimes requires clearing old friends from your life.
Even though relationships are complicated, we can usually tell what’s wrong. We know why it’s not working or why we don’t feel the same way anymore.
However, when it comes to friendships, things aren’t as clear. Something just starts to fade and suddenly, we just can’t connect as we used to. It’s sad, it’s confusing, and it’s heartbreaking.
But the real problem is that we cling onto these friendships, thinking it’s our obligation to make them work.
The truth is, it’s way harder to be honest with ourselves and admit we have changed. …
#4 I understand that you’re upset but I have nothing to do with your anger.
Setting boundaries means you know what you need and you’re able to effectively communicate it to others.
It means you’re aware of what kind of words and behavior is acceptable and unacceptable, and you let other people know your limits, so that you don’t feel disrespected, manipulated and taken advantage of.
I’m passionate about boundaries because I know what it’s like to live without them. I know what it’s like to have a selfless nature and ignore your own needs to the point of feeling completely depleted.
The truth is, it’s our responsibility to set and hold boundaries. …
